A Long History of Stupid
I have a long history of being a stupid person. A legit stupid person. It's frustrating. I don't enjoy it. It upsets me a great deal. Once a day I swear to myself out loud. Usually its "nice one Jimmy, you fucking idiot". My girlfriend doesn't like this. She jumps in to protect me and let me know I'm not dumb. She's wrong. I'm dumb.
Last weekend I was talking with some friends about how we have moments of ADD. They were talking about how they walk into stores then leave before buying the one thing they went to get. I think that's somewhat normal. Sure, you feel dumb when it happens to you because, well... it's a dumb thing to do. Everyone has done that.
My version of stupid is a tiny bit more stupid. I used to have cash on me all the time from receiving tips. In turn, I would pay for my gas with cash. I have since banned myself from doing this because I have walked in, handed them 40 dollars to put on pump #3, then walked outside, got in my car, and drove away before ever putting gas in the car. Now that's dumb. Doing that once is tough. Five times is tragic.
I used to document all the stuff I would curse myself out for. Here are a few.
So yeah... my brain sucks. Only sometimes though. And the slip-ups are never monumental. Just really inconvenient. Today I had a fun one. I went to the gas station to get some gas and an energy drink. Things I needed. I needed gas because my car had no gas in it. I needed an energy drink because I want to start writing this new project I thought of and need the juice to get going.
I typed in the pin for my debit card. My fingers tips almost burnt from how hot the buttons were. That's when I realized how hot it was out. So hot that I decided a car wash would be great. My car is filthy. The sun will dry it off in no time. Bingo. Bango. Car wash.
The last time I got a car wash I made sure my sunroof was closed by holding the button all the way forward. I was NOT AWARE that holding it all the way forward closes it then pops the back end up for some airflow. Of that, I was not aware. My car got wet. I felt dumb.
This time, I was not to be made a fool by my own car. I made sure the sunroof was closed. Then I touched it just a little bit to make sure the back didn't pop up. Ah-ha! Not this time, you dumb ass sunroof.
I was made a fool again.
I was in such a panic at how wet I was that I never went into the store to get my energy drink. Now I can basically throw that entire new project out the window. I did leave with gas in my car though, that's the good thing. I also left with a nice shiny car on the outside. No one will notice that the inside is a wet mess.
In summation, I'm a stupid person and I really wish I wasn't.
P.S. The only reason I'm not familiar with my sunroof button is because the first time I opened it I left it open all night and it rained. #legitstupidperson
I like the Yankees, watching TV shows and talking about stuff.
5 Best Things that Start w E
Netflix Reviews & Grades
2016 Christmas Letter
Top 10 Overrated Movies
Gruden Grinder Week 1
Guide to Weddings
6 Pack Review - Resin IPA
Pumpkin Weigh Off
IPA Tournament Semi Finals