Okay. Tears time.
This week we got the ending of Rudy. Sometimes I throw this on Netflix and just skip to the end to get a quick good cry in.
Anytime they show his parents or John Favreau in the stands my body gets taken over with chills.
Something about people being insanely proud of their loved ones. That's my sweet spot. The captain telling Rudy to lead them out the tunnel. His parents when they find him. His teammate starting the Rudy chant. The moment his mom realizes they are chanting for her son. After the sack when his dad grabs the guy behind him and says "thats my son!" John Favreau screaming "who's the wild man now?!" Chills. Chills. Chills. Tears.
Last summer our favorite drunk activity was playing The Accent Game. One person whispers an accent into the others ear. That person has to leave the room then re enter the room fully immersed as a new person with the accent. Everyone else has to guess what accent they are doing.
Here is Courtney playing this game. She brought Tara along to help her out.
Tonight I am taking the red eye to New Jersey to start vacation at my favorite place. Lavallette, New Jersey. It's a small mile long town on the Jersey Shore.
Oh wait, that's just Courtney in another horrible outfit.
For three years we didn't have a house down the shore anymore. One summer we just didn't even go and tried to find a new vacation spot. I think we went to block island. Not for us. So then we returned to the shore as renters for three summers. Now my parents have a house in town and this will be our second summer in said house.
Here's everything I'm looking forward to.
1. Of all the places you have lived/visited, what was the one you like the best? Why?
Lavallette, New Jersey. Here's why. And here's why.
2. What was one new experience you tried that, at the time, was completely unknown or uncomfortable to you?
3. What was the best compliment you received?
One time a guy said, "thanks for filming my wedding" and gave me a four hundred dollar tip. Super awesome compliment.
4. Which was the funniest prank played on you or played by you?
I put saran wrap on my sisters toilet. Well my mom came home and ran upstairs to pee in her bathroom but had to pee so bad she used my sisters bathroom, which was on the way and closer. Sat down so quick she didn't see the saran wrap and her pee splashed right back up at her (I'm laughing so hard while typing this) so she had to reach down and rip a hole in the saran wrap all while cursing my name. Sorry mom! It wasn't meant for you.
5. Who was your enemy or the bully when you were young?
Snack Pack puddings are delicious. Can't believe they fell out of my repertoire for a couple years. Obviously I am the greatest Snack Pack Blind Taste Tester that has ever lived. If you would like to take the throne from me, please don't, it's one of the few things I got.
This week we are doing top 10 Owen Wilson movies. Why? Because we love Owen Wilson. He's one of the few actors where I laugh at almost anything he says. Even if he's just saying "wow".
Jimmy is in blue. Evan is in green.
I know this is a bad movie but it's a guilty pleasure of mine. I'm sure they threw Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn together knowing they'd carry even the shittiest of plots. Which is exactly what happened, because the story is nonsense. The skype interview scene is hilarious, and how I imagine every person over 40 years old has to answer questions for a potential job. Just divert all the questions into something unrelated because they don't know how to copy & paste.
Behind Enemy Lines
Not sure Owen Wilson was even in the top 100 choices for the lead actor in this role, but he actually made it work. It's a fairly underrated war movie, but a bit unrealistic. Like Owen Wilson hiding beneath dead bodies in Serbia or whatever? A little far fetched for our old friend Drillbit Taylor.
A solid quirky comedy, with a great soundtrack. The movie follows Owen WIlson and his 2 brothers traveling through India on a train, proving that I can watch Owen do anything and still be entertained.
Marley & Me
I don't even like dogs, or animals in general, and I cried at the end of this movie.
Midnight in Paris
I'm a big American Literature guy so this movie was right up my alley. Owen gets to travel back in time and hang out with Hemingway and Fitzgerald when they were chilling in Paris. It's also about nostalgia and having nostalgia for times you never even lived in. Longing to be somewhere else. As you guys know, I go all in when it comes to nostalgia. It also made me fall in love with Marion Cotillard, who is a babe but has looked bad in her most recent films.
You, Me & Dupree
For real, I needed this speech as a little kid. I need this speech now. "But some of you, and this is the group that no one ever comes into Career Day and addresses, and it's criminal. Some of you are just gonna float along, eating spicy foods, humming black people's music into your 30s. Well into your 30s, languishing. This group of pods is gonna do a lot of languishing. And you're gonna take some heat for it. Sadly, you will." Dupree speaking right to me.
Starsky & Hutch
I love a good old-school-cool movie, and this is one of the few throwbacks that is done well. It doesn't get enough love and I'm not sure why. I hope Owen Wilson and Snoop Dogg actually hang out in real life, he deserves as much.
Behind Enemy Lines
No idea why Owen Wilson is in this movie. A war action movie without a spec of comedy. He crushes his performance though, which the movie heavily replies on seeing as he is in every seen basically. Also Gene Hackman is the man and the ending song is a Ryan Adams song and I love Ryan Adams. I'll watch this movie every time it's on TV. Did people think it was bad? Is that why he never did a serious role again? Or did he just want to prove he could do a serious role but also prove that doing serious roles suck so he never did one again?
His comedic breakout, assuming you don't count Shanghai Noon...It's a very quotable movie, even 15 years later. Can't believe it was that long ago. Will Ferrell as Mugatu is amazing. Would be a dream role of mine if I was an actor.
The Life Aquatic
A solid quirky comedy, with a great soundtrack. The movie follows Owen WIlson and his long lost father Bill Murray on a sea journey to find the mythical Jaguar Shark, proving that I can watch Owen do anything and still be entertained. It's this high on my list more thanks to Murray and me being a sucker for Wes Anderson though.
Maybe in my top 5 comedies of all time list. Every scene is one where I go, "oh I love this scene". Like I said earlier Wilson is best when he's playing off a fast talking, crazy buddy. Best example of that is a the quail hunting scene.
"Gorilla, or a rhinoceros, or a fucking human being, that'll get you jacked up"
"... that's a little heavy"
Tried really hard to think of a loophole to make Dazed and Confused #1 for the 6th straight week but couldn't make it happen. Pretty close to a perfect movie, one of my all timers. Amazing chemistry with Vince Vaughn. Walken, McAdams, Cooper. The gay son. It has big laughs and some good romances. Don't think I'll ever get tired of re-watching it. It's far and away the best Owen WIlson movie, and it's not even close.
After eating them for the next couple days I officially decided I did not like these. But if you like breakfast food I think you would really like them.
A year or two ago a video of me scaring my mom with a fake dog went viral. The process of a video going viral is kind of crazy. Within five minutes of me posting it, before it had even 20 views, I had three companies contact me to get the rights to the video. I did some research and chose which company I thought seemed the most legit.
The next three days the video was everywhere. It started on aol, yahoo, and dailymotion. Then it got posted on buzzfeed and immediately jumped up 60,000 views. From there it just snowballed and the views climbed like crazy. Once that first week ended it stopped at 970,000 views. Today it is at 979,000. So viral videos really come and go like that. I thought it might break a million for a little but now I doubt that ever happens.
I made about three thousand off the video and got interviewed by a Japanese news station who made the above video. They told me I wasn't allowed to share it but it's been a while now so I think I can. I've been dying to have people hear my Japanese voice.
P.S. How Japanese is that video? Graphics EVERYWHERE!
P.P.S. A million friend points if someone who speaks Japanese can translate this for me.
Big brother is a great character study. This show really proves that people are diverse and not archetypes. Everyone in the house right now has a good and bad side to them. Most of them I have disliked at times then likes at others. Besides Frank. I've always like him. The house thinks he is so shady but all he has ever done is be honest with everyone. Too honest actually. He'll probably be sent home this week and that's a bummer. I think he deserves to make jury at least.
James was probably so mad he had to win that HOH. He wanted to stay quiet as long as possible but he's in love with Natalie and being in a showmance makes you have to play the game for two people. He knew that Natalie would definitely be put up as a pawn against Frank, or put up to replace the veto winner. He had to win HOH to keep her safe.
James putting Frank and Bridgette on the block wasn't a ballsy or big move at all. It was a coward move actually. Just to please the house and keep status quo. Well James, status quo has you pretty far down the totem pole right now anyway. Why not get Frank and Bridge on your side and really shake things up?
I see Frank getting sent home and then Bridgette doing a ton of crying in the future.
You guys ready? Got a classic sports one today. Derek Redmon in the 1992 olympics. He pulled his hamstring half way through the race but was determined to finish. He fights off everyone trying to stop him or help him. His father comes running in from the stands. Evades security. Derek realizes that its his dad and loses it. Then his dad (who has on an absolutely fantastic outfit) walks with him to the finish line.
Watch Maybe the Craziest Thing Nick & I Have Ever Done (it gets good towards the end, no promises) and Enjoy Your Weekend Everyone!
1. If you could get away with it, what family member would you kill off and why?
This is an easy one and I would definitely get away with it. I'd kill myself.
2. Which bad habits of other people drive you crazy?
Smoking. Covering sneezes with their hands. Acting as if they matter.
3. Which body part would you choose to get a tattoo done?
My butt. Jake and I have talked about matching butt tattoos. Think he's getting one himself soon actually.
4. Were you ever drunk?
Tough. Button pressing indeed!
5. What is your pet peeve?
The latest one I thought of is when people act like they are unique and post shit like "Leave it to us to eat desert first" or "of course this group would take a silly picture at the wedding". No one is unique, everyone does the same shit.
6. Which song reminds you of an ex and why?
I think I forgot to click to analyze those first couple clips huh? Welp, fuck.
These were all pretty bad. If you want to drink mixed drinks, make them yourself.
This week we have Top 10 Sports movies intended for kids. We didn't know how to title this category. We wanted to do kids sports movies so first we made the distinction that the team/players in the film had to be younger than high schoolers. But then that left out some good options like Brink, Johnny Tsunami, and Mighty Ducks 3. Felt bad leaving them off but it also didn't feel right to include Friday Night Lights, The Rookie or Remember the Titans. So we settled on 'made for kids'.
To read our old lists here you go: Movie Soundtracks, Movies in Texas, 1990's Teen Movies, McConaughey Movies
Jimmy is in blue. Evan is in green.
Looking back, this movie was really truly awful. But I loved basketball and was a huge Lil Bow Wow fan. Pretty cool that you can just put on an old pair of Michael Jordan's sneakers and be just as good as him though. There's some good NBA player cameos in it too.
The Big Green
Hated soccer as a kid but liked this one anyway. Don't remember much other than Ham Porter (the catcher from The Sandlot) playing goalie. Kinda sucks that he was type-cast into playing these positions. Hope he's doing better now.
Angels in the Outfield
My only real takeaway from this movie was that it must be terrifying to be an orphan.
Rookie of the Year
They'll make a movie about anything I guess. Because a little kid pitching in the Major Leagues is more ridiculous than a dog who plays basketball IMHO. Nonetheless, it's one of the funniest movies on this list.
Ice Box was a beast (done nude scenes since). Junior Floyd was a stud. Spike was scary as fuck. The annexation of Puerto Rico was a masterpiece. One of the best half time speeches ever given. Standing ovation for Little Giants.
Well, wait a second, guys. Who said you had to be good to play football? You play football because you want to. You play football because it's fun. You play football so you could pretend you're Joe Montana throwing a touchdown pass, or Emmitt Smith going for a long run. And even if those Cowboys are better than you guys, even if they beat you 99 times out of 100, that still leaves....
Is this the only kids movie about football? Pretty much the cookie-cutter underdog sports movie, but I ate it up as a kid. Jimmy says that Ice Box did nude scenes as an adult, don't think I wanna see them TBCH.
The Mighty Ducks
Made the decision to only include this as 1 movie, otherwise the series would dominate the list. Loved Coach Bombay, he made me want to play hockey. Never did, couldn't skate.
Mighty Ducks (The Trilogy)
This is the best trilogy in all of movies and if you think I'm wrong I'll write a 10 page essay on it to shut you up. In the meantime let's discuss some funnies. Like in the first movie when The Ducks made the playoff because an entire team got the measles (Bombays reaction to the news is LOL funny). In the 3rd movie you get Portman stripping in the penalty box and the dean of the school saying "he's taking a dance class, Tom" which became a favorite quote of ours in college. But it is the second movie that has the scene that steals my heart the most. The best fire in a barrel speech we've all ever heard. Any questions?
I love this movie. Everyone loves this movie. It perfectly captures growing up and playing pick-up with kids from the neighborhood. One of the few movies on this list that you still love as an adult. I just get sad at the end when the kids grow up and everyone goes their separate ways, but I guess that's how it goes. Wendy Peffercorn - heart eyes emoji.
First and formost, Paul has won me over. He's playing the house perfectly right now. Knows that Paulie and Corey are in power so he'll be their little rat for a little. Knows that people like food so he starts baking treats. Here's the thing about the muffins. When he said he doesn't even like muffins at the end... that's my life. Cooking is a weird thing. I don't really have a passion for food, or cooking, or anything in the general area but somehow I fell ass backwards into making Blind Taste Tests (53 of them!) and Tasty Reviews, i get Blue Apron shipped to me and snapchat myself cook every Sunday. The cooking bug is so bizarre so I totally understand Pauls obsession with making muffins and also his confusion on why and how it continues to happen. Good for Paul.
The rest of the drama from this episode... I don't even know. I still like Frank. I enjoy his ability to laugh off situations and questions. The oddest thing I find is... Mama Day always bashing Frank in her diary rooms and making him out to be a big bully to Paul at the end... I don't get it because when Frank and Day sit down and talk it actually feels like the most friendly and genuine conversations that happen in the house. She seems to laugh and joke right with him. Maybe it is just great acting by her. Who knows. Mama Day sure does have her good and evil sides though huh? She makes me laugh sometimes in her diaries, she annoys me sometimes in her diaries. Her ability to see the game and the big picture is uncanny. But her inability to stay out of drama is bad. I don't think she will get evicted tomorrow but I think she may be gone soon.
Get Vanessa out of here. Last year I fucking hated Vanessa, but at the same time I respected her cause she had balls and made moves. Not the case this season. This seasons Vanessa sucks. The way she argues and tries to sound confident is so transparent..
Little sneak peak from the Live Feeds.... Michelle is highly unlikable.
P.S. Let's all remember we didn't have to see/hear Bronte tonight and be thankful.
"You're a funny guy"
"Thanks. It's because I'm dying inside"
That's a wrap one The Adventures of 2hatz & Sweaters. Unless Greg makes more, then it's only a wrap one Season 1 of 2hatz & Sweaters.
Like I said i the video. I have no idea what I made. Didn't know this is what a tart is. Seemed more like a white sauce pizza type thing. I ate the whole thing that day but that doesn't mean I liked it. The asparagus strings made zero sense since you just get all the asparagus in one bite.
It was a different sounding recipe, which is why I made it but not a real fan of it.
A Flutist on A Paddle Board Played Music to Draw in the Whales and it Worked and Holy Shit it Worked
1. Figure Out It Is a Hemorrhoid
Don't spend three days thinking you somehow cut yourself inside your butt cheek. You will start thinking, man what the fuck did I do when I was drunk? How could I have done this? Did I sit on a spike? Did I wipe with sandpaper? You'll have some real disconcerting thoughts. Instead realize right away that it is a hemorrhoid and you probably got it cause you drank way too much over the weekend causing you to shit about seven times on Sunday and there was too much pushing going on.
2. Buy Baby Wipes
Buy two packs of baby wipes. A large pack for you're number one shitter at home and an on-the-go small pack for everywhere else. Bring a backpack to work so you can bring that into the bathroom with you. People will have questions and think, "hey why does he keep bringing his backpack into the bathroom?" That's okay. It's slightly better than people saying, "hey did you see that Jimmy brings his own baby wipes into the bathroom with him?" Continue to buy baby wipes and keep a pack at home for the rest of your life because they are phenomenal and going back to just toilet paper feels like a gross way to live once you've dove into baby wipes lifestyle.
3. Bring an Extra Pair of Boxers Everywhere With You
I'll make this one quick and to the point. Hemorrhoids cause bleeding. Blood gets on your boxers. That's super gross. Be prepared to do extra laundry.
4. If You Want Support Talk to Guys not Girls
After I realized it was a hemorrhoid and not something I should be totally ashamed of I needed to talk it out with someone. Let them know the troubles I was facing. Why I was shitting seven times a day. Every single female I told said, "that's weird. How did that happen?" or something to that extent. Every male I told replied with something like "oh been there man, that's the worst" Just totally supportive and understanding. Real pals. The girls made me feel like a bloody butt monster. Guys made me feel like a human.
5. Don't Get Ahead of Yourself
Just because the initial pain and blood are gone doesn't mean you are out of the woods. Be careful for a couple weeks. After my first pain free poop I acted as if it was all good and got a swift reminder that it was not all good. Be gentle. Baby wipes 4 lyfe.
*this advice only applies if you had the same exact hemorrhoid I had last week.
"Global warming, we should probably solve that?"
Come back Wednesday for the season finale!
Now we have seen the Mama Day we remember from last year. Drama. She is confusing though because parts of me still like her. She was able to reel it back and stay calm... kinda. She sat down and had a good conversation with Frank and then sat through Vanessa's bullshit until she was able to provide comfort for her. Now Vanessa trusts both Frank and Mama Day enough to tell them she won roadkill. Bizarre.
Vanessa is bad. She is bad at comps. She is bad at her emotions. She now is working with the two people who started all the drama with her. Vanessa last year cried and was emotional as fuck but she used it as a method of attack. She would confront people hard. crying right in there face and make them feel bad and uncomfortable. Vanessa this year is a wuss.
Corey has the worst thousand yard stare I've ever seen a person have.
I'm tired. Will probably add more to this tomorrow morning.
Happy Saturday! Hope you're hung over. Let's cry!
I texted my little brother to ask if he had any go to cry videos and he said Americas Got Talent videos. He's not wrong. Here are three videos that may induce tears. The Sal Valentine one is my personal favorite. When Heidi hits the gold button the his instant reaction is priceless.
I like the Yankees, watching TV shows and talking about stuff.
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