This deer loves a beautiful sunrise and doesn't care who knows it. I don't think I have ever been as happy as this deer is in this video. Not much else to say really. I hope its inevitable death is quick and painless. Kill shot. Hit by a car with solid impact. There's no way this deer lives to be old. You can't prance out in the open like that and not run into trouble. Not when you are the most hunted species (total guess) going.
Guy Hides Camera in Port-O-Potty at a County Fair. Cops Find it and it Has His Own Picture on It. Now His Life is Over.
KTVU - Police are asking for help identifying a man who installed a camera in a portable public bathroom.
Tough break for this guy. Lets get in the mindset that he's a guy who likes spying on people relieve themselves. Sure, weird shit turns him on. Most of us are lucky that the regular old normal stuff turns us on and we can just pull it up on the internet to satisfy ourselves. This guy was born and at some point he saw someone piss and was like 'shit. that really did it for me'. He fights the urge all the time but finally cracks. He NEEDS to watch people piss and shit. He's reached his breaking point and he HAS to watch people go to the bathroom.
What we can not accept is that he chose a port-o-potty at a county fair. A outhouse at a county fair in the Midwest??? C'mon dude. That's so gross. If you're into watching people shit at least let it be hot people taking healthy shits. Not three hundred pound people shitting out the award winning corn dog they just ate. All the fried foods and the beers those people are stuffing their faces with... ugh. Gross.
When he came back for the camera and it wasn't there he had to be SO panicked. Thought he had the wrong Port-o-potty then ran down the line of johns frantically checking all of them. I wish I had a camera on that. This last year he has probably been living in fear that his face would one day be on the internet. Now that day has come and life is about to get terrible for him. The good news is that the holding cell in jail has a shitter right in the middle of the room. He will enjoy that.
P.S. I've wanted to put a GoPro in a port-o-potty at a festival for a while now. Not to get off on it or spy on people. Just to make a time-lapse of all the shit and piss rising to the top. Feel like that would go viral.
I love watching movie trailers. I'll watch the trailer for almost anything. Yesterday I combed through a ton of trailers for movies that are about to come out and have chosen the five I am most interested in.
Bleed for This Drama
I don't think there have been any autobiographical boxing movies that aren't worth the watch. This movie has got Miles Teller in it who has rocketed himself to A list status in the last couple years. I'm a big Miles Teller fan. Most people know him for Whiplash but he's made a lot of other good movies as well. Whiplash is what made him a star. If you want to discuss the ending of Whiplash with me I'd love to. I think its one of the most open for interpretation ending to a movie in a while. A lot of people saw the last scene it as a rewarding and happy. I thought it was frustrating and pathetic and sad (still loved the movie). But this isn't about Whiplash.
This movie is about boxing and it's also a period piece, set in the late 80s early 90s. And it seems to be a genuinely crazy story. One of the writers is Angelo Pizzo, he also wrote Rudy and Hoosiers, so he knows how to tell a sports story. This may be my most anticipated movie about to come out.
In a Valley of Violence Western
Western is a genre that a lot of people write off pretty quickly and I kind of understand it. I have genres that I am super hesitant about. This one looks somewhat promising though. The plot seems pretty simple, as westerns usually are. Ethan Hawk is a mysterious stranger who goes into a small town and starts trouble. His only sidekick is his dog so all you dog lovers will enjoy that. John Travolta plays the weirdo sheriff which is good because Travolta usually plays a grade A weirdo. I wonder why that is?
The initial fight scene is pretty bad ass. The guy from Generation Kill falls for a classic distraction move. Hey catch this... and you're dead! Also seems like this may be a western with a bit of comedy thrown in.
The plot of this seems wild. Basically McConaughey is dressed up like Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder. He goes to the jungle to find gold like DiCaprio in Blood Diamond then comes back to the US and transforms into DiCaprio from Wolf of Wall Street. Wild.
I'll watch anything McConaughey is in and so should you.
I went into this trailer not expecting much. But damn if my heart didn't drop the moment Halle Berry saw her son being dragged into a strangers car. That scene was tough to watch and I'm not even a parent. It looks like it is going to be Taken but instead of Killing Machine Liam Neeson it's Simple Mom Halle Berry. The end line in the trailer wasn't great. Have to think they were going for the same effect that "I will find you. I will kill you" had in the Taken trailer. But Halle saying "you took the wrong kid." didn't have nearly the same effect. It was the only part of the movie where I thought, ehh maybe not. Otherwise I think it looks like a good thriller.
Manchester by the Sea Drama
This may not be for everyone. It seems slow. It seems like a mundane plot. But it also stars Casey Affleck and is a double coming of age story. Casey's characters brother died and Casey is left with sole custody of his teenage nephew. They live in Manchester and have awesome accents. Both are coming of age and dealing with relationships and the sudden responsibility that has come with their father/brothers death. From the same writer/director that did Gangs of New York. I'm a big Case Affleck fan.
As I was watching the trailers I came across the movie Hacksaw Ridge. It's a true story about a soldier in WWII that didn't believe in killing or violence and went into battle without a gun in an effort to spread peace. AKA it's a story about a human idiot. I actually think it is an awesome story and could be a great movie but I don't like the lead actor, Andrew Garfield. I just don't think he will ever be able to portray someone I want to root for. And that are the only roles he is ever cast in. The good guy. I don't buy it. He makes me want to punch him in the face. ANYWAY. There is a moment in this trailer that is a MUST WATCH. I laughed out loud. Here watch it then scroll down.
Dude slaps away a grenade!!!!! The Germans throw a grenade at all his friends and he HI-YAs it back at them! Cmon Hollywood. Be better.
Couple Arrested For Locking Their Kids In Dog Crates. As They Should Be. What a Terrible Thing to do. Terrible People. (this blog contains a video of me locking my brother in a dog crate and pushing him down the stairs)
NBC - Newington, Connecticut, police have arrested a couple accused of locking their children in dog cages as a form of punishment when they lived on Kirkham Street in Newington.
Real tricky situation here. Should they be arrest for being terrible parents... maybe? Probably? Bottom line is kids like being in dog crates. At least for a little bit. From time to time. I've met my fair share of kids that actually enjoy acting like a dog entirely. Barking, crawling, doing tricks for treats. Kids are fucking weird. I remember putting our smallest friend in the dryer and jamming the door open then turning it on. It was like a roller coaster from hell but she loved it.
My older sister and I used to make our younger sister crawl behind the trundle bed because we said something fell back there and she was the only one small enough to reach it. Then when she was back there we would slam the bed shut on her. Oh my god as I typed that I got swallowed up by guilt. Sorry Ritzy! I don't think she totally hated it though. Kids don't get claustrophobic. Always making small ass forts. Crawling around in the tubes at playgrounds. When I babysat my little brother once we threw him in a dog crate and pushed him down the stairs. He loved it. Should I be in jail for that?
P.S. Every time some adopted parents beat the shit out of their kids. The person who okay-ed the adoption should be told. Hey you know that couple that you let adopt those two kids because you said they were fit parents? Well they're in jail because they were horrible parents. Sleep well!
F is a decent letter. A lot of solid choices that are big on the grand scheme of things. Obvious one for many people would be food but I don't really like food THAT much so it didn't make my list. Here we go.
Best time of the year. My favorite season in a landslide. I like almost every activity that comes along with fall. Corn mazes. Apple picking. Wearing sweatshirts. Pumpkin carving. Raking leaves. Eating candy. Watching football. Blowing leaves. Baseball playoffs. Not being hot anymore. It's all brilliant. Fall is the number one thing I miss about the east coast. Over here on the west coast we are deep into September and yesterday was 105 degrees. Disgusting.
I like my family. We get along pretty good. Lots of good memories. I've spent a ton of time with them. We've got a wedding coming up and we're all going to be spending a good amount of time together. I'm pretty excited. I feel like some people hate their families and spending time with them and that makes me real #sad.
Friends the TV show and friends as in the people that tolerate me and hang out with me. I like the TV show because it makes me laugh and because it was something my entire family (see above) used to watch together. My favorite scene is probably when Joey pushes Ross into his fridge. I like my friends because they hang out with me and some of them even laugh at my jokes. It's a known fact that if you don't have any friends you are a loser and you're sad all the time and one day you take all your books out of your locker because you are going to go home and kill yourself and don't want your mom to have to clean out your locker afterwards then someone sees you carrying all your books and offers to help you out and they then become your best friend and you don't kill yourself because now you have a friend.
ORINDA, Calif. (KTVU) - - A woman was shot in Orinda, and her husband was beaten, while they were robbed outside their home Monday night by two men in Halloween masks.
Terrible story. Never good when someone gets robbed and shot in their own driveway. The muggers followed them all the way home from Safeway? Just for a wallet and a purse? Why would you shoot someone over a purse?
The real story to me is, after the mom recovers from being shot, 3-6 months down the road, there is a an awkward conversation to be had between the mom and the son. "I understand you thinking it was me and my friends in masks Mom but you still thought it was us when they pulled the guns out?? Then they hit Dad over the head with their gun AND YOU STILL thought it was me???" That's some serious stuff to digest. If my mom thought I pulled a gun on her and pistol whipped my dad in the forehead as a prank I'd have to take a deep look inside and wonder where our relationship went wrong and what my moms definition of a prank is.
Give me your wallet!
Oh Jimmy, quit being annoying and help with the groceries.
*pulls a gun out* Give me your wallet!
*Dad hands over wallet*
Chris what did you do that for? It's just Jimmy being annoying.
*Dad gets pistol whipped*
Jimmy come on now. Enough is enough. You just hurt your father.
Give me your wallet!
So I guess this week I'm gonna drink six beers from the same brewery, Other Half. Other Half is a Brooklyn brewery that makes some seriously killer IPAs. Tonight I am going to try to drink six of them, I say try because I started work at 430 this morning and most of these beers are above 8 percent. So this is also a battle against sleep. Anyways here we go.
Beer 1 - 8:37 pm Boogie Board Stunts
The Mets are winning and I'm not in a truck anymore which is a plus. The beer I'm drinking is a kolsch, which you can definitely tell by the signature kolsch yeast taste, which some might find off putting but I think works out great with this beer. The taste is lightly masked by hops which makes for a lightly hoppy beer with a German twist. Not a lot of hip breweries will brew a kolsch beer and this beer doesn't sell as well as it should but I respect Other Half for making it. The logo is really cool and they made a hat out of it which I bought and I wear a lot. My boss at work makes fun of me because it's purple but it's hip and I like it. Anyways I'm not that tired yet. I'm feeling confident that I can finish this off, I might try and watch Ant Man tonight.
Beer 2 - 9:14 pm Nelson Sauvin Motukea
Beer 3 - 9:40 pm Space Diamonds
Beer 4 - 10:22 pm All Citra Everything
Beer 5 - 10:57 pm Green Diamonds
Beer 6 - 11:31 pm All Green Everything
So before I drink this beer I will say that previously I have not liked this beer. A triple IPA is an insane concept and I've thought that this beer is too hot. Almost too much hops, it's so alcoholic that it can't be enjoyed so I let this beer sit a month to see if it's better now. That being said I'm pretty drunk, I've had 6 high abv beers and I'm texting friends that I haven't talked to in a very long time out of possibly lonely nostalgia. That also being said I made it, I am not asleep after 5 beers and a 15 hour shift so take that haters! Did you hear me you stupid fucking haters! TAKE IT. Anyways the beer, it's still pretty hot, there's so many hops up front that you almost can't distinguish anything. My pallet should have been destroyed by the 5 previous heavily hopped beers but still I am reeling in hop taste. It's pretty crazy guys am I right, guys, Bueller, Bueelller? Oh that's right I'm drinking six beers alone on a Wednesday. Cool. Anyways it looks like Wilson Fisk is still pulling the strings to get at Matt Murdoch even though he's in jail. I can't wait to not remember this enough when I attempt to start the next episode. There Jimmy I did it, I stayed up way longer that I realistically should have to drink beer for some blog thing. If I had a nickel for every jackass that comes with some hyped up Nokia camera to a canning run and calls themself a beer blogger I would start my own brewery. I like this review thing though it's way less contrived then most idiot bloggers. I hope everyone on the west coast can enjoy my review of a brewery that only distributes in New York. Yeah well at least you assholes don't have winter. Ok that's all for me stay tuned for Chris with sports on the 2s and 7s.
SKYNEWS - The controversial "three-parent" technique allows people with rare genetic mutations to have healthy babies. The baby called Abrahim, whose mother and father are Jordanian, was born in Mexico with the help of a New-York based team led by Dr John Zhang. The mother has genes for Leigh syndrome, a fatal disorder that affects the developing nervous system. Her son was conceived from an egg containing nuclear DNA from his parents, and mitochondrial DNA from a "second" mother - an unknown female donor. The technique has been approved in the UK - but this time it was altered slightly because as Muslims the parents were against the destruction of embryos. The aim was to replace defective mitochondrial DNA that may have condemned Abrahim to Leigh syndrome. About a quarter of the mother's mitochondria have the disease-causing mutation. While she is healthy, the syndrome was responsible for the deaths of her first two children, so she sought out Dr Zhang's help.
A quick summary. This lady has some disease that didn't effect her life at all but every time she had a baby it would die. Basically she is the Mother of Death. She didn't want to have a third baby just to have it die so she went to Mexico to have a doctor from New York do some crazy science stuff to her embryos. They took out all her disease DNA and then switched it with DNA from a non mother of death person. (I'm not positive on how the third DNA comes into play. That was just a guess. I stopped reading the article when the science words starting coming.)
If this technique continues and is available to the general public it's going to be real fun to have a baby. Basically build-a-bear but for your offspring. Yeah, Doc, can you take out my short gene. I'd like my son to be taller than 5'7". Also get rid of the prematurely goes grey gene and while you're at it can you throw in some DNA from someone who isn't a lazy piece of shit? Sweet. I will name him after me and hopefully that's all we have in common.
I think they made it look simpler than it is in their video. The cheez-its just didn't stick to the chicken when I went to fry them. Baking them works but they come out kind of soggy. Frying would definitely taste better if you can get it to work right.
Hot sauce > Ranch all day everyday. So I'd do hot sauce next time and make spicy popcorn chicken.
I've been filming and editing weddings for the past four years now. After seeing over a hundred weddings from the pre planning to the last song I have garnered all these opinions on weddings that I never wanted to have. I figured I might as well throw them down as a guide for others. These are for future brides and grooms as well as guests. I'll just go in order. Here we go..
If you are getting married you should have a first look. For all of you completely in the dark, a first look is when the Bride and groom see each other before the ceremony. Some people don't do this because someone a long time ago said it was bad luck. When I meet with the bride and groom beforehand this is the only piece of advice I ever give.
Why does it make a difference?
If you have a first look then you can take all your portraits and formal photos before the ceremony. If you don't get these pictures done before hand that means you will spend all of cocktail hour taking pictures. When that happens the bride and groom don't get to enjoy cocktail hour at all. Instead of relaxing with your bridal party, eating food and sharing drinks you are standing like a mannequin and constantly screaming family members names? "Where is Uncle Mike? We need Uncle Mike." Then Uncle Mike shows up but now the groom walked away because he thought his side of the family was done. You're in both sides of the family now buddy. It's not fun. Instead of having to cram fifty different pictures in an hour you can just get them all done beforehand.
You also stage the first look in a cute way. Sure it can seem cheesy and over dramatized but that's exactly what a wedding is, cheesy and overly dramatic. See video below for an example of a first look.
Side note: If you hire a photographer and they don't ask for a list of all the relative and friend groupings you want to have pictures of then you should hire a different photographer. Having a pre made list cuts the time in half.
I don't really have many opinions on this. Do it however you want. I don't like church ceremonies because I don't like religion and I don't like sitting around bored for forty minutes but if that's your bag then have at it. It's your wedding. My one piece of advice would be that the processional should be all serious and formal. The recessional can be fun.
I'd say about 75 percent of toasts suck. If you are the best man or the maid of honor and have to give a speech here are some big time DON'TS.
At the wedding I worked last week after the first dance the MC got on the mic and said "okay now the bride and groom would like to invite everyone to the dance floor to share a dance with them". Not one person moved. Everyone stayed in their seats. The MC got on the mic and said it again. Then had to get on a third time and said "come on people, don't be scared come on up to the dance floor". I wanted to yell at everyone at the wedding. Just fucking dance! I hate dancing because I'm terrible at it but you have to go to the dance floor. Just bring a drink and stand on the outside and sing along to the song. Don't stay put in your chair like you're too cool. Weddings are mainly judged by whether or not people danced. So never be afraid to dance.
Don't request songs from the DJ. Most DJs tell you they don't mind requests but they are lying. DJs spend so much time putting together their playlists. The bride and the groom fill out 'do not plays and 'definitely play'. They tell them not to play a certain genre. Usually its "don't play any country", or "don't play any rap". If the dance floor is full and people are dancing then 100 percent do not go request a song. The DJ is crushing it so let them keep going. One time I was standing by the DJ, the dance floor was packed and this guy came up and requested a Nirvana song. The DJ said "do you think people are going to want to listen to this?" Guy said, "Well I don't know but I like it". "Do you think people are going to dance to it?" "uhhh". More people request songs like that than you'd think. The main culprits are old couples who want to hear their wedding song. Like DJ's are just going to slow it down and bring the entire party to a halt so an old couple can dance by themselves. Its crazy!
If you aren't married or engaged just go to the damn dance floor. You don't have to actively try to catch the bouquet. It's okay. You can just stand in the background. Girls are STRAIGHT UP PETRIFIED to go to the dance floor. But then everyone will know I'm single. This is so humiliating! And what if I don't even want to get married. This is so stupid. You'd think you're inviting them shit themselves in public. Then the bride gets on the microphone and is like "Stephanie where are youuuu?" then the MC says "Yeah get yourself up here single Stephanie!" Guess what? Now they actually are embarrassing the fuck out of you. Should have just walked up right away.
I'd suggest not doing the bouquet and garter toss because it's just awkward and antiquated but if it happens at a wedding you're at just go walk up there and stand around.
IF YOU ARE A GUY DO NOT GO TO THE DANCE FLOOR. This happens at almost 50 percent of weddings I have worked. One guy always thinks he's hilarious and runs out there like "hahaha I'm a guy! Look at me! I'm not a single lady but I'm acting like I am! Haha how funny am I?" It's so awful and un funny.
Don't clink your glasses and make the bride and groom kiss every two minutes. I love when the bride and groom have the MC say "okay everyone get there clanking out because the bride and groom will only be honoring that with a kiss this one time."
I think that is all I got right now. I'm definitely forgetting stuff. Maybe I'll do a part two at some point.
Oh here's a good one. If the Grooms father is in the hospital and he dies in between the ceremony and the reception. Don't tell him, or anyone until after the wedding. Makes for a really awkward party.
Another Saturday night where we are going to sit around drinking and playing games. Two of my favorite things to do. I grabbed a six pack to take care of me. I went to the little liquor shop around the corner so the selection wasn't huge. This is my second IPA from 10 Barrel Brewing Co.
Beer 1 - 9:01 pm
First sip and its super fruity. That's all I tasted right away. Sweet like a pineapple. I did't read any of the words on the box or bottle. Maybe if I did I wouldn't be surprised by this but it was not what I was expecting. Not a huge fan of it at all right now but I'll continue to give it a shot.
Beer 2 - 9:33 pm
Beer 3 - 10:09 pm
Beer 4 - 11:07 pm
Beer 5 - 11:45 pm
Beer 6 - 12:16 pm
Here's the thing. Sometimes you commit yourself to a life of six pack reviews even though no one really even reads them. Committed none the less though. And with that you have to drink all 6 of the beer even if after the very first sip you knew you didn't like it. So this sixth beer isn't really about the taste anymore. It's more about my commitment and toughness. Everyone else has gone to sleep. They are lying down in their beds rethinking all the wrong moves they make in Five Crowns. Contemplating how I could have beat them so badly. I'm still on the couch. Drinking a fruity beer named Joe.
ONE OUT OF FIVE
When we lived together in college I used to remind Evan that he loved boobs pretty often. When I moved out I promised him I would remind him once a week for a year. So every Tuesday I made a video to remind him. These are the videos.
OPPTRENDS - Carol Howarth, a resident of Haverfordwest, Wales parked her Mitsubishi and went to a store.
I think it's pretty clear why the bee population is plummeting. That's all I ever read about on the internet. Whenever someone asks, "what's a real issue that no one takes seriously?" a bunch of people chime in "the bees, the bees, the bees, when the bees die we die! They are so important to our eco system". Well how are we supposed to help the bees out when they are this dumb.
This queen is in charge of 20,000 bees and she decided she's gonna go inside a car and take a nap for a couple of days? Who voted for this bitch? Are bee communities hierarchy or a democracy? Either way they need to take a deep look inside and figure their shit out. You can't be the most loyal species ever and also the dumbest species ever. I guess loyalty and dumbness actually go hand in hand when you get to a certain point. General Custer's soldiers were the same as these bees. They all died.
Bottom line.. the bee community is pathetic. If you're queen ditches you just find a new queen. Don't cling on to the back of a moving car crying about it.
P.S. If this was my car I would have left the state immediately.
Last week we did the best movies that have under 50 percent on rotten tomatoes. Today we are doing the worst movies that have over 75 percent. Basically the most overrated movies in our opinion. This list was tougher to scroll through because a lot of the movies above 75 percent are actually really good, who'da thunk it? There were definitely some that stood out to us though. Here we go.
Jimmy is in blue. Evan is in green.
Field of Dreams - 86%
Super 8 - 82%
Story time! When this movie came out, my friend KYLE & I ate a (marijuana) brownie and went to go see it in theaters. We managed to buy tickets, get candy and find seats even though we were a few minutes late and the movie had already begun. We walked in on this big water tank floating up towards the sky while attracting all these metal objects to it, and then it morphed into a space ship and flew away! Had no clue what it meant but I love movies that start with a bang...except NOPE, Roll credits. Apparently the movie was playing in 2 theaters and we went in the wrong one, catching the final 10 minutes of the movie. Just had to go home after that. BUST!
Spy Kids - 93%
Gravity - 96%
Don Jon - 81%
Gone Girl - 88%
At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Saving Mr. Banks - 78%
Pitch Perfect - 80%
I'll admit that this movie was pretty good the first time I watched it. But, people fucking ruined it for me. Everyone was quoting it and singing the songs. Was happy when the 2nd one apparently bombed because people stopped mentioning it because they WERE WRONG!
HOT TAKE: Anna Kendrick isn't funny or even very cute.
There Will Be Blood - 91%
Avatar - 83%
The most expensive movie ever made at the time, it was supposed to have special effects that changed the industry. I went and saw it in theaters with those dumb fucking 3D glasses and it was a huge let down. I wasn't blown away by any of the effects and the plot was extremely unoriginal. It would be one of the most forgettable movies I've ever seen but I still remember how ripped off I felt after paying like $17 to see it.
Inside Llewyn Davis - 94%
There Will Be Blood - 91%
Meet the Parents - 84%
Field of Dreams - 87%
Never bought into this one as a kid. Why would anyone want to play baseball with ghosts? Imagine if some crazy farmer designed a baseball field to attract these baseball ghosts? It would be the epitome of lunacy. I was always attracted to much more realistic plots, such as Angels in the Outfield.
The Revenant - 82%
Kill Bill - 85%
10 Cloverfield Lane - 90%
Blade Runner - 91%
Always heard great things about Blade Runner, and how it was a Sci-Fi classic & one of Harrison Ford's best. Turns out I don't like Harrison Ford or this movie. When I finally went to watch it I had to stop half way through to make sure I ordered the right one. It's so absurdly boring. The visuals and atmosphere in the movie are actually really well done, which probably adds to my hatred of it because they were wasted on such a lame plot.
Crash - 75%
This move won best picture! That's insane. There is a rule in movies. You can only have one major coincidence. One! It's so easy to write a movie full of coincidences. It's basically just a bunch of stoners sitting in a room saying "and then the cop drives behind them in this scene!" "Oh and we can make the black lady in this scene the same as the black lady in the last scene" and everyone in the room just says "yes! yes! This is awesome keep going!" They needed a leader to step up and say "uhh but guys we need to make all this seem logical and like it would actually happen? This isn't a 20 people city they are living in". No one said that when writing this movie. Or maybe someone did and they got booed off stage.
Crash - 75%
Basically thought of the idea for this list because of how awful this movie is. It's messages about racism and social problems are so insultingly obvious and overstated. The annoying thing is that we definitely needed a mainstream movie that dealt with these kind of issues, but Crash fucking blew it. The movie didn't actually address anything important or ask any thoughtful questions. Convinced people just say they like this movie because they think they have to.
Thanks to SnipNinja for all the easy to make videos!
Beer 1 - 8:15 am
Beer 2 - 5:29 pm
Beer 3 - 7:36 pm
Barrel aged Toadstool Stout. Yeah so that guy who ditched didn't ditch and we went to firefly hollow brewing company in Bristol CT. This is a phenomenal stout. My friend insists that it's a bourbon barrel aged beer which I didn't believe at first but after I drank half I could taste a little bit of bourbon, but it wasn't overwhelming. Which is actually refreshing, most bourbon barrel aged beers are so boozy this was a nice balance. Honestly a good beer. Nice, well balanced, beer. Prolly keep going here, it's a nice place.
Beer 4 - 7:54 pm
Beer 5 - 8:42 pm
Beer 6 - 9:16 pm
Extra 7th Beer! - 10:45 pm
Consumer Friendly Keg Mover. I tried to sneak this beer before bed but my girlfriend yelled at me and insisted I'd snore if I drank it so she finished it. First 4 sips were great, she said she liked the rest so I'll give it my seal of approval.
We're moving right along with the Best of the Alphabet (it actually seems like it's taking a long time and going to last forever)! I've got Greggers joining me this week to help take down the letter E. This letter wasn't too hard and wasn't too easy. Here we go.
This sad sack of shit is a riot. As a little kid he teaches you that some people are just downers and will always be sad. As an adult he's someone to empathize with because life sucks. Watch this youtube clip. It's a minute long and packs three solids laughs. "End of the road... nothing to do... and no hope of things getting better... sounds like Saturday night at my house..." That's hilarious. Why did they include this in a kids show?
What would Americans do without English? We just walk around assuming everyone speaks English no matter where we are in the world and if they don't it's unbelievable. (See below video)
Also Adele and the Beatles are English.
I'm not as big of a fan as explosions as Michael Bay but you gotta admit that they are pretty cool. I hate loud noises but I love how bright shit gets and when you can feel the heat from the explosion. That stuff is just straight up #cool. We used to blow stuff up in my fire pit in the middle of the woods. Might be the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life. Should have definitely died or started a horrendous forest fire. Here's a video of us blowing up an air horn (was super loud!), a can of Axe Body Spray (smelled like Axe!) and a can of Liquid Adhesive (the explosion stuck to us!).
Not being able to hear would be bad. You wouldn't be able to hear Adele or the Beatles. You couldn't hear any music so you would be a terrible dancer. You wouldn't have ears to hold up your glasses. You'd have to read all the subtitles when you watched a movie if you couldn't read lips.
Sign language looks cool but it seems like you'd have to be friends with everyone else who knows sign language out of necessity. You might really hate a guy but no one else knows sign language so you're stuck being "friends".
If not being able to hear would be bad, then not being able to see would be very bad. It'd be tough to do anything at all. If I couldn't see, I'd probably kill myself. Not by choice, but I'd probably get hit by a car or wander off a cliff or something because I couldn't see where I was going.
Further, if I didn't have eyes, I would cry, but then I wouldn't be able to cry because I wouldn't have eyes. Vicious Circle.
Jimmy Note: Do blind people cry?
It straight up blows my mind that the world went from no electricity to what it is now. Feel like the world should have just come with electricity. But no! We had to sit around for hundreds of years lighting candles and falling asleep at five o'clock until someone INVENTED it. C'mon. One guy just invented all of this?? I've just hurt my brain trying to process the fact that someone invented electricity.
Why does the wheel get all the hype and acclaim as best invention? All that happened there was someone saw a rock roll and said hey see that, let's make that out of wood. For electricity it was more like hey see that candle, let's make magic.
3rd rock from the sun was a good show. Earth is my favorite planet by far ever since they kicked Pluto out of the Solar System. We all live on Earth. Earth has elephants and iguanas etc. It's really pretty neat. So rare is it to find a planet positioned within the habitable zone of a star and to have one that allows carbon-based life to form from non-living matter is truly an amazing spectacle.
Eye Patches, Erasers, Ears, Earth
Elephants, Eggs (for reproductive purposes, not to eat. hate eating eggs), Eagles
TELEGRAPH - A woman has been arrested in North Carolina after her mother's body was discovered in a freezer she sold at a yard sale.
NEED to know more about this yard sale. There are two ways it played out.
1. The yard sale was for the sole purpose of getting rid of the freezer coffin. So on the driveway was the huge freezer and then some picture frames and dishes on the ground next to it. As soon as the freezer sold she said "okay sales over! Thank you for coming", and booked it to West Virginia, making her getaway.
2. It was a legitimate friendly neighborhood yard sale. Then a nosey neighbor wandered into the garage where nothing was for sale and said, "what about the freezer? Is that for sale as well?" LIGHT BULB! She improvised on the spot. Pulled off the sales pitch of the century then said "okay sales over! Thank you for coming", and booked it to West Virginia, making her getaway.
I like the way Marcella Jean thinks. Telling the neighbor not to open the freezer because it is a time capsule and the church will be around to pick it up soon. Not exactly a lie. It's a time capsule because it's got a dead person in there and is freezing her in her alive state. That's kind've a time capsule. And eventually she's gonna need to get buried and have a funeral. Last I checked the church does that (not sure they do at home freezer pickups though). It was a well thought out line.
I am fully on Marcella's side. Super unfair play from the neighbor for breaking the terms of the deal. She was getting the freezer for a steep steep discount. She just couldn't use it for a little bit! That is a good investment. Maybe after a couple weeks when the church doesn't come by (again, don't think this is a thing) you can open it up and find the body. Alert the police, but the she's living in WV now and tracking her down seems like too much just for improper storage. The neighbor walks away with 30 less dollars and a haunted freezer but also with a lesson learned.
I don't think the neighbor opened the freezer because she thought something fishy was going on either. I think she was genuinely interested in what the church was putting in their time capsule and snooping around. I wonder what they put in here? A couple bibles. Maybe some hymms. *opens it up* Oh my god it's Marcella's mom!
THINKPROGRESS: It’s been a busy couple of weeks for climate action in California, and the good news for climate activists keeps rolling in: On Monday, Gov. Jerry Brown (D) signed a bill restricting the emission of ‘super pollutants’ like black carbon and methane in an effort to fight climate change.
Uhhhh? What the fuck? I read that entire article and tried to put on my scientist hat while doing so but they were throwing out a ton of big words. I think the gist of it is that cow farts are super bad for the earth. So bad for the earth that dairy farms are getting 50 million dollars to get "digesters", which will stop their cows from farting. I think that is what's happening.
If I was a dairy farmer I would just pocket the 50 million and make all my cows get into new relationships every two months. No one's farting in a new relationship. You just lay in bed and hold it in and your stomach bubbles and then in the morning you find yourself alone and let it out and it's like a leaf blower with an airhorn attached. So I don't know why they need to spend money on 'digesters' when they can just let the bulls in and mix things up.
Also the guy who works for the Air Resources Board who is in charge of making sure the cows stop farting... what's your life like dude? Driving from dairy farm to dairy farm smelling the air and checking for cow farts. Basically a pervert.
I'm team cow farts I think. Also wish someone would give me 50 mil to stop farting.
This is my favorite one I have made in a while. I didn't expect much from it but was wrong. Super easy to make. One Pan / One Pot recipes are kind've where it's at huh?
If you see a Tasty Recipe you want me to make let me know.
A Brass Bolt Fell Off A Truck on the Freeway and Killed a Man Driving Behind It. Final Destination is Real.
The world is terrifying. An 82 year old man was driving down the freeway doing his thing and then a loose bolt falls off a truck, flies through his windshield and kills him. Scary shit. It's terrible that he died. I feel horrible for his family. (except it fell off a government truck and they can probably sue the fuck out of them now).
The real bad news is someone died. The not as bad news is now I can't drive anymore. After I watched Final Destination I had to add don't stand by neon signs in Paris., look out for busses before crossing the street, and don't stand by trains as they pass by to my list of things not to do.
Now I've got to add don't drive behind trucks with loose bolts to the list. And I love driving without looking at my surroundings. So I might as well just throw driving out the window. Really all any on of us should ever do is just sit inside the air conditioning and be entertained by trivial things. Everything else in the world isn't worth risking death for.
I like the Yankees, watching TV shows and talking about stuff.
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