Meet the House Guests
It's almost impossible to come off likable in these stupid "get to know the cast" promos they put together but lets dive right into them anyway.
Since I live on the west coast and watch it on delay, live tweeting Big Brother doesn't make sense. I basically like tweet it as I watch it into this blog. So all my thoughts are exactly what I think as they happen.
Shout out to Cory. Christmas is a crossfitter who doesn't want people to think she is just a meathead. She's also an entrepreneur, an author, a pit crew member and has a million fans on social media. When the camera crew asked to film her doing entrepreneur stuff she whipped our her best business line.
I'm pretty sure that translates too, "people look at my instagram a lot"
GUT REACTION: She's going to be the first to cry.
Jason aka Whistle Nut
This guy is a rodeo clown and auctioneer. Seems like a failed audition for the next bad reality show on the History channel.
GUT REACTION: No one's gonna like him.
Alex came out out right away and told us she has a lot of hobbies. Then she went on to list some basic things she does. She was telling us how she liked video games then went right into talking about stabbing people. Weird.
GUT REACTION: Lays low for a while
Ways to make me think you're a creep... wear this, while standing in front of a church and do this.
GUT REACTION: We're gonna hear a lot about how this wouldn't go down in Boston back in his day
A God loving nuclear engineer. She actually seems pretty smart and confident. The God stuff will get annoying if she blasts it everywhere but other than that this was the best intro thus far.
GUT REACTION: Plays too hard too quickly then figures it out.
Found the dude who's gonna fall in love with Christmas
GUT REACTION: Guys will be intimidated by his size and try to get him out early.
Elena and Whistle Nut are going to bond over how they put on their clown make up. She says her mouth is going to get her in trouble so it seems like she's going into the house in an attempt to start drama. Fun.
GUT REACTION: Get's homesick day three.
Super fan. Nerd. Gay. Jason and Steve mixed together.
GUT REACTION: Does really well
Ex military, america loving dude. He seemed pretty chill and calm in his intro when he talked though.
GUT REACTION: Plays it under the radar and goes far.
Dance teacher and ghost hunter. So basically a child.
GUT REACTION: Goes the path of Bronte
From Miami but Cuban at heart. He's a hustler baby. He's a business man baby. He's ten steps ahead baby. He's born for this baby.
GUT REACTION: Finds out he's not born for this.
"As a dog walker I know how to wrangle animals together and get them to do what I want." Not so fast Megan! I think, as a dog walker, you know how to walk slowly while holding a rope and occasionally pick up shit off the ground.
GUT REACTION: Challenges Mark to a lot of fitness contests. Doesn't understand what Mark sees in Christmas that he doesn't see in her.
An awkward nerd that doesn't think he's awkward. Ramsey is gonna see right through him.
GUT REACTION: Wants to be John but will be more of a Steve.
Admittingly is going to use her looks to get ahead in the game. Is a superfan but she doesn't think people will think she is a superman because she's so good looking and everyone knows only ugly people like reality TV shows.
GUT REACTION: I'm petrified of her and in love with her
Has grey hair. Is young and athletic. Doesn't like shirts. Does construction. He's straight out of a gay porno.
GUT REACTION: As a fellow prematurely gray haired man I am pulling for him. Christmas will love him.
Was fat but went to Tijuana to get weight loss surgery. "I mean, who does that?? hahaaha"
GUT REACTION: Got rejected for The Bachelor. Is searching for a relationship.
They Enter the House
These guests enter the house and act like its a phenomenal palace and not a sound stage without a ceiling. Thats par for the course though. They are excited. Their diaries are going to be annoying for a while, as they are full of joy!
Mark falls in love with Christmas as soon as he sees her, like we all suspected would happen. Then Christmas falls in love with Matt. Am I a genius or were those just THAT obvious?
Megan doesn't give Jessica a hug hello. Then goes on to say there are no 'model types' in the house. Umm hey did you see the instagram models though Megan? Megan hates attractive people and is pretty judgemental about it.
During introductions Josh called Kevin out for being a walking stereotype of Boston guys. Not realizing he was only cast because he is the walking stereotype of a Miami guy.
Domonique is the first to lie about her profession. I'm getting a Vanessa vibe from her. She may know what she's doing here.
All the girls love the guy with gray hair. If I was also, tall, in great shape and had a nice smile this would bode well for me. I am none of those things. I do have gray hair though!
If they press a button they get instant money but it also comes with a big twist. No way anyone should press that button but Old-Man-Back-in-My-Day Kevin doesn't understand that and presses it right away.
As a result Kevin is not allowed to win the HOH comp and has to throw it. My guess is Kevin has no idea what that means at all and he's just gonna go ask everyone "hey what does she mean I have to throw it".
The big twist is that Paul from last season is now in the house. Paul was such an enigma last year. I hated him. Then I liked him. Then I hated him. Then loved him. He had no idea how to play at first last year. He got all pissy when Frank tried to save himself from being eliminated. But half way through he figured it out and in a short time he kind of mastered the strategy of Big Brother. I'm excited to see him get a full summer in the house knowing how to play now.
Oh the bigger twist is that Paul is taking someones place. Gut instinct tells me I hope Kevin or Megan go home.
Paul gets to hand out bracelets to save 8 people. If I'm Paul I'm closing my eyes and tossing the bracelets in the air. Whoever they land on is safe. It's far to early to make these decisions.
Everyone takes their turn trying to bribe Paul into keeping him. Cody gets in there and just sits in silence awkwardly. I love it. In a weird way I think that gains him way more respect. Gray Hair Matt basically did the same thing but a little better. He said "I'd love to play against you. I'd love to play with you. We're grown men we know how this works" Paul acted like he didn't appreciate the honesty but he will. Queue the three of them teaming up in the future.
Miami Josh came in and said "cut the bullshit" then immediately spewed out a ton of bullshit.
Friendship bracelets go to...
Kevin, can't be mean to the old guy, that's a bad look.
Raven, only girl of an appropriate size for him to hook up with.
Dominique, maybe he saw the potential in her that I see.
Mark, only one of the three alphas that buttered him up.
Jason, no one wants to see a sad rodeo clown
Ramsey, covers the nerd part of the house
Elena, gave him cheese
They have to stand on trapeze things. If they fall off they chose an apple. The apple can save them or hurt them. The longer they stay on the better chance they have of choosing the good apple.
Jillian lasts three minutes on the rope. Pretty sad.
Cody wins, which is nice but now puts a big target on his back.
Christmas, Cameron and Jillian all get poisoned apples and are on the block. Suck it white people!
Another temptation and twist. At this point Im temptation and twisted out. Lets just send one of these people home and let the real game play begin.
Oh man Cameron got his first vote situation and he wants to be John sooo bad.
Cameron gets evicted and now I feel real bad for him.
Let the social games begin!
I like the Yankees, watching TV shows and talking about stuff.
5 Best Things that Start w E
Netflix Reviews & Grades
2016 Christmas Letter
Top 10 Overrated Movies
Gruden Grinder Week 1
Guide to Weddings
6 Pack Review - Resin IPA
Pumpkin Weigh Off
IPA Tournament Semi Finals