I've Tried to Get on Two Reality TV Shows - One Wants Me to Do It But I Can't. Unless You Guys Really Bully Me Into It
A while ago when I was job searching I set up craigslist alerts for all job listings under the TV/Video/Videography umbrella. I still get the alerts and about ten percent of them are casting calls for some weird reality show or day time talk show. I have made the decision to reply to every casting call that comes my way.
The first casting call was for a Foreign Love type show.
My reply email:
Hello Foreign Dating Show,
My love has moved to Australia.
My name is Jimmy O'Brien, birth name is James but everyone calls me Jimmy because it's more friendly and fun, just like me!
I am 27 years old. I have attached a picture of myself. I live in Livermore California and work as a wedding videographer. I have filmed over 100 weddings in the last couple years so I am no stranger to love. I love love and I love my Nicholas.
I have attached the last picture he has been tagged in. It is a picture of him and his "girl friend" in their supposed new home in Australia.
Nicholas and I met on facebook after being tagged in the same picture. Our mutual friend Jake thought we would get along splendidly and it was his way of setting us up. Jake was right about Nick and I getting along. Jake was wrong about never wearing his seatbelt. He passed away only a few months after tagging Nick and I in the same picture. An army of frogs stormed out of the swamp and Jake, being a frog lover swerved to avoid running over the beautiful creatures. He was ejected from his seat and and thrown head first into the swamp, where he died.
It seems that he has decided to start a new life over there without me. I fear I will never get my chance to be with him. The time difference is crushing. I am so bad with time already. I can't even read an analog clock. Every now and then he will send me messages, which let me know I still dance across his mind sometimes.
The foreign dating show has not gotten back to me...YET. I will keep you updated if they do.
The second TV Casting email to come through was for a daytime talk show. They were looking for a handful of problems to help people out with.
My reply email:
My name is Jimmy. I am 27 years old. I have a younger brother who is very jealous of me. His jealousy is really becoming a problem. He is ten years younger than I am so naturally he has always looked up to me.
It used to be that he thought I was cool and always wanted to be around my friends. It has now gotten to the point that he wants to BE ME. He is ruining his life.
At twenty three years old I started going prematurely gray. My brother now dyes his hair touch of grey.
When I was 23 years old I graduated college and immediately gained 25 pounds. My brother has made himself be fat as shit now to look like me.
When my brother turned sixteen he hit a growth spurt making him 5'10". The only problem is I am 5'6" to 5'9" so now my brother walks with a constant slouch in order to be short like me.
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but I'm not sure that's the case here. I think my brother is insane.
If I die an accidental death I am positive my brother will kill himself.
If you guys think you can help out that would be great.
Hope to hear from you,
About twenty minutes after sending that email I got a return email from the producer of the show.
I was on an airplane and delirious so I sent 'Doug' my phone number. I then woke up the next day trying to think of what kind of scam I just gave my phone number to. A producer of a show wouldn't send an email and not include his last name and contact info right?
Mid day runs around and I get a call from Burbank, Ca. I don't answer phone numbers that I don't have stored in my phone so I let it go to voicemail.
Plot Twist: Doug is a real producer. He is the producer of a talk show that is starting soon. The host of the talk show is Robert Irvine, from Restaurant Impossible. It will be a Dr. Phil esque talk show. Doug wants to talk to me, he is very interested.
Sooooooo what do I do? Call him back and play along with it and then at the end say my brother won't commit. Does Luke have to gain weight, dye his hair and start slouching and we go on this show and talk out our problems?
I've put myself in a tough spot.
I like the Yankees, watching TV shows and talking about stuff.
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